Week #7--Kidney Stone--A Really HARD Thing!

Buenas, amigos.

Well.  I finally found out what's wrong with me: I have a kidney stone.

I could go into a lot of detail about the pain and how terrible it's been and how terrible the hospitals are in Honduras, but I think you've all heard that kidney stone pain is either comparable or worse than child birth.  So I'm a little scared. 

I guess the scariest part is the anticipation of this whole thing.  My pain comes in waves, so one minute I'll only have some mild discomfort, but the next minute I won't be able to walk.  So I never know when it's gonna hit.  And it's scary not knowing.  But my doctor said that it should pass in 15-20 days.  

My motto on my mission so far has been, "I can do hard things!"  Hermana Odekirk and I would say it to each other all the time.  And the other day I just looked at her and was like, "I can pee hard things."  And this is now my motto.

My mission president moved me closer to the mission office.  It was actually a big mess of a transfer.  Right now, my official area is in Olanchito, which is the zone farthest from the mission office.  By bus, it takes 6 or 7 hours to get to San Pedro from Olanchito.  And Olanchito is really small and janky, so the hospital and medical clincs there aren't the best.  And with my condition, I never know when I'm going to be in really bad pain, or I never know when I'm going to need medical attention, so President Klein moved me closer.  So right now, I'm staying with some Hermanas in La Paz.  I'm in the same area as the mission nurse, and only 30 minutes away from President Klein, so whoohooo!  But it's weird.  Cause I'm not really a missionary right now.  I mean, I am, but I have to stay home most of the time and rest and drink bastante amounts of water.  Idk.  It's a weird feeling.

And then my new companion that I'm going to take back to Olanchito with me after I pee my marble, didn't know that she had transfers.  So she was super confused at the transfer meeting yesterday and didn't have any of her luggage and it was just a mess.  But everything's worked out now, and we're just waiting for me to pee my kidney stone.  Oh, the anticipation.

The lives of the sister missionaries here are so different compared to what it's like in Olanchito.  It's crazy.  It's like they're serving a different mission!  LIKE THERE ARE PIZZA RESTAURANTS HERE.  It's just a bigger town and there's more money and the people are more educated and it's safer.  Like these hermanas haven't seen dead bodies on the street like I have.  But it's all good because I'm gonna come back home super masiso.  Cause I will have survived Olanchito and peed a kidney stone.  

It's sometimes hard to understand why certain things happen in our lives at certain times.  It's been hard for me to understand why I've gotten so sick while I'm serving my mission.  But I've been doing a lot of thinking the past couple of days.  And I need to remember that Heavenly Father knows everything.  He has the eternal perspective that it's oftentimes so hard for us to have.  He guides our lives, and He gives us the trials and problems that will help us grow and learn.  He gives us the experiences that will help us become people that He wants us to become.  He leads us to people who will help us, and He leads us to people that we can help.  

If we trust in the Lord with all our hearts, He promises us that He will guide and direct our paths.  And when life seems too difficult to bear or when we feel like we've fallen more times than we have the strength to stand back up, just remember who we have on our side.  Our loving Father in Heaven sent his Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to suffer for our pain, our sorrow, our grief.  Christ understands what we're going through.  He understands perfectly.  So really, even though at times we feel like we're alone, we're never alone.  He is always there.  He is there to give us strength when our own is not enough.  He is there to comfort us in times of pain.  He is always there.

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied,
“The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you.”

I can pee hard things.

Love,

Hermana Holdaway