Week #55--Christmas time....... and pictures!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

It's almost Christmas!  But it's weird because it doesn't feel like Christmas at all down here.  We went to the grocery store today and it was all normal and calm, and I was just thinking to myself, "If this was a grocery store in the United States, it would be packed right now and there would be Christmas music and there would be snow outside and it would be wonderful."  I miss the hustle and bustle of an American Christmas.  But Honduras is cool too.

I have a lot of updates for you guys....

I had transfers!

I left Mezapa and am now in the lovely neighborhood of Porvenir.  And I'm a sister training leader!  For those of you who don't know, a sister training leader is someone who goes on divisions with the other hermanas in the mission and we participate in missionary leadership councils and stuff like that.  It's fun.  I'll get to see President Klein a lot more now!  I'm excited.  I love President Klein.  He's the best.

But anyway, my companion's name is Hermana Alfaro.  She's from Costa Rica!  She's super pretty and looks like Ariana Grande, haha.  She has one more transfer than I do in her mission, so she's going home in March.  But she's great!  I've only been with her a little more than a week, but I've already learned a lot from her.

We've had a busy week!  Last Saturday, we had a Christmas multizone conference!  Hermana Alfaro and I had to prepare an hour long presentation about the importance of developing Christlike attributes.  It went really well!  And we got to listen to President and Hermana Klein, which is always the best.  And we got ice cream sandwiches.  Merry Christmas to us!!!!

Last week I got to go back and visit Ceiba as well!  We had a P-Day with President Klein.  All of the zone and sister training leaders went to hike Pico Bonito.  And then we had pizza for lunch.  And I was able to go visit Hermana Doris for a little bit!  I cried.  I love Hermana Doris.  And then some missionaries threw up on the car ride home and it was an adventure!

Thursday I did my first divisions as a sister training leader.  I worked with Hermana Mazariegos, from Guatemala.  She's amazing!  We had a great day and ate lots of chips and cookies, haha.  She's had a difficult time in her mission so far, but she's positive and keeps marching on.  I admire her a lot.  And especially because she just had surgery on Saturday night.  She'll be in recovery for three weeks, but she's doing well.  Keep her in your prayers!

And a dog peed on me this week.  I think this makes it number 3240392840945723908.  I swear, all the animals in Honduras love peeing and pooping on me.  I don't get it.  But we were casually standing outside the gate, waiting for this guy to come out of his house, and this cute little dog comes up and is all calm and stuff, and then out of nowhere, it lifts it's leg up and pees on me.  LIKE UM, NOT OKAY.  Freaking, Honduras.

And these computers don't have viruses so I'm gonna send you guys some pictures!  Finally!

OKAY I LOVE YOU GUYS AND HAPPY CHRISTMAS, HARRY.

Love,

Hermana Holdaway.

 Hermana Alfaro and me!

All dolled up for the Christmas multizone conference, whudduppp

  Remember how I'm always freaking out about having grey hair??  Well, here's proof in case you guys didn't believe me.  My companion took this picture while I was praying. .......sinner

We threw a suprise birthday party for one of the hermanas here in Porvenir.  And we successfully made cake in the microwave.  I think that qualifies me for an Oscar or something cause, wow.

 Hermana Alfaro straightened my hair!  Whoohooo!!  My hair is long and it is also kind of red, but whatever. 

Week #53--Happiness: noun; the quality or state of being happy

Hi, everyone!

I hope that this email finds you happy and safe and that you're all enjoying the music and snow and lights and magic of this Christmas season.  But in midst of all of the hustle and bustle, don't forget to stop and remember the real meaning of Christmas and the most important gift of all: Our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Hermana Vergara and I had a good week.  We went to Tela on Wednesday to give service with all of the missionaries in our zone.  Tela is about an hour bus ride away, and it's a city that's alongside the ocean, just like Ceiba!  So we planted coconut trees on the beach!  We planted about 300.  And Tela did a news report on us and we were on TV and everything, so we're casually just super famous, like whatever, I'm signing autographs and am already starting my autobiography.

But the bad part about planting coconut trees in Tela was that we were all full of sand, and we weren't able to shower when we got back to Mezapa because our water was coming in superrrrrr dirty.  Like it looked like chocolate milk.  Smh, Honduras, you're killing me.

Hermana Vergara and I were supposed to have a baptism this past Saturday: a grandpa named Doroteo who has a lot of swag and who always wears a cowboy hat.  We met him about a month ago when we were trying to cross this huge mud puddle.  We were struggling hardcore because crossing mud puddles is actually super hard and if you don't believe me just come visit Mezapa and you'll see.  Anyway, he just stood there laughing at us, and we were like, "Lol, yolo, let's teach this grandpa."  So we started teaching him, he went to church, we challenged him to be baptized, and he accpeted!  He was all set, literally 100% ready.  We'd passed off the baptismal interview questions with him and everything.  When we asked him if he was still drinking coffee, he was like, "Nah, ya no soy mundano."  Lol.  But anyway, when we went to visit him on Thursday, his daughter was like, "Oh, he moved this morning.  He now lives in some little town like an hour away."  Um....like...wow....not okay, Doroteo.  Not okay.   

On a happier note, we've been visiting and teaching a lot of families recently!  And I love it.  Family relationships are beautiful.  Isn't it amazing that God has given us families?  He's blessed us with people who will be with us through thick and thin, through our fat times and our skinny times, through the good and the bad. 

Things are never going to be perfect; every family has its problems.  But despite all the burdens and challenges we have, we can be happy.  It's always possible to be happy.

It's always possible to be happy: that's something that I've learned from the families here in Honduras.  These families oftentimes have challenges that I never even dreamed of having.  Some of these families don't have enough food for dinner.  Some of these families live in one room houses with sheets of metal for a roof.  Some of these familes don't have enough money to send their children to school.  But these families are happy.  They're united.  And they've shown me in a very real way that happiness isn't conditional; it isn't something that a few people can have.  Happiness is universal.  It's there for everyone, no matter who you are.  

And I know it's been said before, but happiness doesn't come from a store.

And Honduras taught me that.

I love Honduras.

So don't define your happiness on your material possessions.  Because if you do, you'll always come up short.  Don't rob yourself of the happiness you deserve.  Choose now to smile.  Choose now to be positive.  Choose now to live.  

And if you want to experience real happiness, forget yourself and serve someone else.

Food for thought.

Love,

Hermana Holdaway

Week #52--Crossing lots of things off my bucket list

These past couple weeks have been a grand adventure mainly because I'm living in Honduras and it's just a given that life is never boring.  But I've been able to cross a couple of things off my bucket list and I thought I would share those things with you:

1.  I killed a chicken.

...........Okay, I watched someone kill a chicken.  Which is basically the same thing.  But I got it all on film!  And when I thought the chicken was "supposedly" dead I got up close to get a good shot of the blood and stuff and then THE FREAKING CHICKEN CAME TO LIFE AGAIN AND BASICALLY ALMOST KILLED ME. 

I'll show you all the video one day.

But just be careful of chickens okay, because they're not what they seem.

2.  Someone got into an accident for doing a double take at me.

When you're a white girl in Honduras everyone stares at you.  Like I should honestly start charging people and I could probably make a lot of money.  Sometimes I feel like I'm a zoo exhibit or something like that.  But anyway, we were walking down the street and this one guy on a motorcycle is just staring hardcore at me as he passes and then once he drives by he turns around to keep staring and then he falls off his motorcycle. 

Ten points for Hermana Holdaway.

Um.  I can't think of anything else funny that's happened these past couple of days.  OH WAIT.  I got stuck in a mud puddle the other night.  It was the worst thing ever.  Hermana Vergara and I were walking home and it was dark.  We were going to take one of the bigger streets, but there were a bunch of men smoking and drinking and so we were like, "Mejor no."  And we decided to take a smaller street instead.  Since it's been raining a lot, there are a ton of puddles.  It was dark and I couldn't see really well, so I stepped where I thought it was mas o menos dry.  And oops that I stepped into the world's deepest mud puddle that was literally up to my knees.  I was stuck and couldn't move and when I managed to get unstuck, I left my shoe behind.  #CINDERELLASTATUS.  So we were poking around the mud puddle with the ends of our umbrellas for like ten minutes trying to rescue my shoe but we couldn't find it and then I was just like, "SCREW IT."  And I squated down and stuck my hands into the mud puddle trying to find my freaking croc up to my elbows in mud.  And then this guy passed by and was like, "What are you guys doing?  Fishing?"  And then he started laughing like he was the funniest guy in the world, like pease, IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELP ME FIND MY CROC, JUST MOVE ON, OKAY CAUSE I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU.

And then Hermana Vergara was like, "Just leave your shoe there and we'll come back and look for it in the morning."  LIKE, UM, NO, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CROC HAS BEEN WITH ME THROUGH EVERYTHING I CANNOT LEAVE IT ALONE ALL NIGHT IN THIS MUD PUDDLE.  

NO CROC LEFT BEHIND 2014.

But then my prince charming came and fished my croc out for me and I put it on and it fit perfectly even with all the mud and poop and whatever else was on it and so now we're getting married.

Just kidding.

A little kid helped me fish my shoe out but the most important thing is that I have my croc and nothing will ever seperate us ever.  LIKE EVER.

Okay.

The Church is true and I love you all.

Love,

Hermana Holdaway.

Week #51--An attitude of gratitude

Roberto passed away this Saturday.  Hermana Tito called me around 9:30 in the morning to tell me.  I cried a little bit after the phone call, but I've been doing my best to be happy and positive.  It's been a lot easier this week than it was last week.  I think it's because last week I mentally prepared myself for what was going to happen.  And when I saw the incoming phone call, I knew what it was.  I didn't need to hear the words.  But I'm okay.  I'm pressing forward.  I'm making it through.  And it's mainly because I've felt this peaceful, calm feeling in my heart that's a little hard to describe.  A feeling that makes me know that everything will be alright.  

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In other news....

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! 

I hope you all enjoy your all-American holiday.  All of us gringo missionaries here in Mezapa have been planning our Thanksgiving celebration ever since November started.  No one could remember if Thanksgiving was the second or third or fourth week in November though.  I swore it was the second, but then one of the elders was like, "Nope.  It's definitely the third."  And then we found out it's actually the fourth...so oops.  What is America, we don't even know anymore.  But anyway, we're going to buy a roasted chicken and make powdered mashed potatoes and gravy from the packets that this one elder's mom sent him in a package.  And maybe we'll sing the national anthem or something.  Almost the same, right?  Probably not, but hey, you've got to make the best out of what you've got.

In the April 2014 general conference, Dieter F. Uchtdorf said,

"Everyone's situation is different, and the details of each life are unique.  Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives.  There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.  We can be grateful!"

I am blessed.  And I am grateful to be blessed.  

I am grateful for my mission, for the wonderful opportunity that I've had to serve here in Honduras.  I am grateful for everything that I've learned and experienced.  I am grateful for each one of my companions, for each one of my investigators, and for each one of my converts.  I am thankful for baleadas, for tajadas, and for beans.  I am thankful for sunny days and for rainy days, for my missionary nametag, and for Crocs.  I am thankful for Spanish, for the once in a lifetime opportunity that I've had to learn to express myself in this beautiful language. 

I am thankful for scissors and headbands and umbrellas.  I am thankful for bug spray and Peptobismol.  I am thankful for fans and colored pens and janky internet cafes.  I am thankful for cows and chickens and horses.  I am thankful for tortillas.  I am thankful for USBs.  I am thankful for orange juice.

I am grateful for the night sky, for the breeze, for the sound of the ocean.  I am thankful for the challenges and trials that I have, because I know that they're making me stronger.  I am thankful for laughter and for tears.  I am thankful for hugs and for smiles.  I am thankful to be alive.

I am grateful for my family, for my friends, and for my God.  I am grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I am grateful for the Book of Mormon.  I am grateful to be led and guided by a living prophet of God, Thomas S. Monson.  I am grateful for Jesus Christ.  I am thankful to know that He lives, and because He lives, I do too.

I am thankful to have the truth, to know who I am, and to know who I can become.

I am blessed.  And I am grateful to be blessed.

What are you grateful for?

Love,

Hermana Holdaway 

Week #50--Endings are not our destiny

Wednesday night, 10:15 PM.  

I'm kneeling down at my bedside saying my nightly prayer, and I hear the phone buzz in the other room.  Thinking it's just one of the other missionaries, I finish my prayer and climb into bed, letting Hermana Vergara answer the message.  I close my eyes and try to fall asleep, although the 5 billion itching bug bites on my legs make sleeping pretty much impossible.  But then my companion calls my name saying, "Hermana Holdaway.  The phone's for you."

She brings me the phone.  I open the text, which is from my last companion, Hermana Tito, who's still in Ceiba, and read: "Hermana Holdaway.  I have bad news.  Roberto's had two heart attacks.  He's in the hosptial.  And things aren't looking too good."

Fear floods over me as I think about Roberto, the grandpa that I'd grown to love so dearly.  I call Hermana Tito, asking for more details, and she tells me that medically speaking, Roberto shouldn't even be alive.  He's still here because he's a fighter, but the doctors say that he's in his last days.  His kidneys are failing, and only 25% of his heart is functioning.  He's on oxygen and can't talk.  We don't know how much time he has left.

I couldn't sleep at all that night.  And this whole week has been a struggle, trying to smile and fake away the pain, trying to hold back my tears.  And it's been hard.  It's been hard because I've honestly never met anyone as sincere, loving, and happy as Roberto.  He was my miracle: the best convert that I've had my whole mission.  And I never thought that I would have to say goodbye like this.  And honestly, I don't even really get to say goodbye.  Thursdaymorning, I called President Klein, asking for permission to go and see him, but President Klein said no.  I don't understand why, but I know he has to have his reasons.  It's just hard knowing that I'm here in Honduras just a few short hours away while Roberto's suffering and dying, and I can't do anything about it. 

But this was just something so totally unexpected.  A few short weeks ago, I was in Ceiba, laughing and talking with Roberto, as he shared with us stories from his past and gave us chips and Coke.  And in the blink of an eye, everything changed.  I know that death is a real and necessary part of life, but who would have thought that it would come on so soon?  I didn't come on my mission expecting to say goodbye like this.  

I came on my mission to help others prepare to meet God.  And this week I've learned in a very real way that we don't know when that is.  It could be today, or it could be tomorrow.  Are you prepared to meet God?  Ask yourself that question.  And if you're not, then change what you need to change.  And change it now.  Because you don't know how much time you have left.  

I'm here is to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.  I'm here to help others be happy in this life and receive exaltation in the world to come.

And I know that there is a world to come.

This can't be the end.  And it isn't the end.  I know it's not.  After death, we will continue to exist.  And one day, we will resurrect, just like Jesus Christ was resurrected: "For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive" (1 Corinthians 15:22).  As a missionary, I teach and testify each and every day of the great plan of happiness that God has created for each one of His children.  And our life here on earth is only a small fraction of that plan.  Our lives didn't begin at birth and they don't end at death.  Death is hard.  Separation is hard.  Goodbyes are hard.  And honestly, this is something that I've never had to deal with before.  My grandma died when I was a little girl, but I was too young to understand, too young to remember.  But I'm not too young now.  Now, as a 20 year old, I understand death.  And it's been hard.  It's been hard because I loved Roberto.  There's a special connection that exists between missionary and convert.  It's something that's hard to explain, and it's something that I think you have to experience to understand.  It's a special kind of love.  A love that binds us together for forever.  A love that I'd never experienced before my mission.  A love that's more precious than anything else.  A love that makes saying goodbye very, very hard.

But I am grateful to understand God's plan of salvation.  I've found peace and comfort knowing that I will see my dear Roberto once again.  I don't have the words to express how honored I am to have found him and to have helped him find and know the truth.  I know that Roberto is prepared to meet God.  And I am privileged to have been a part of his life.  And I will always remember him.

Love,

Hermana Holdaway

"In the light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us?  There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings. 

Why is this?  Because we are made of the stuff of eternity.  We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless and who promises eternal blessings without number.  Endings are not our destiny.

The more we learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more we realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all.  They are merely interruptions- temporary pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful.

How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father that in His plan there are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings."

-  Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Grateful in Any Circumstances"

Week #49--Cannibalism and avacados

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Hermana Vergara and I had a good week.  It was a little long and a little hard, but we're smiling and pushing forward, and we're happy!  And we're especially happy because we got to nap today.  Sleeping is theeeeeeeee best.


This week the missionaries and some of the members of our branch had a few choir practices because we were going to sing during sacrament meeting on Sunday.  So one night Hermana Vergara and I showed up to the chapel a little bit early, and no one had gotten there yet (I don't remember if I've put this in a past email, but there isn't a church building here in Mezapa, so we meet in a little house that's been converted to a chapel.  #ghetto).  Anyway, we sat down under this super big tree to wait for the elders to get there and open the church.  And there were a freaking ton of bats flying around this tree.  And I mean A TON.  And like most people here in Honduras, these bats don't know what personal space is, and they were just flying around super close to your face and I was like, "NO MORE."  So we left the tree.

The end.

Just kidding.  It's not the end because it gets better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  During choir practice one of the other hermanas, Hermana Peterson, was like, "Hermana Holdaway, what's that on your shoulder?"  And then we realized it was bat poop.  So a bat pooped on me.  I think I humbly win the award for luckiest person in the entire world.

But maybe I'll get converted into Batwoman or something and then it will all be worth it.

So last week I was complaining about having to eat pig brain, but life just keeps getting better and better because this week I had to eat pig tail and pig feet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And it was disgusting.  There's just something about seeing little pig hooves on your plate that makes you lose your appetite.  And then they handed me this little piece of tail and were like, "Just eat around the bone!"  And while I was eating/trying not to throw up, I could only think of one thing:

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My mind was going crazy, like, "Holy crap, I'm eating Dudley Dursley.  Like I'm pretty sure cannibalism isn't a good thing, but okay...."

Hermana Vergara and I always see this one old guy in our area who rides around on a bicycle selling avocados.  So, avacados are the best things ever, and whenever I see him I want to buy one but I never have any money with me.  Anyway, one day we started talking with him, and he started flirting with me (#casual), and was like, "What would you say if I gave you an avacado for free?"  And I was like, "Umm...thank you?"  And then he gave me a free avacado.  He was like, "A beautiful avacado for a beautiful muchacha.  And from now on, every time I see you, I'm going to give you a free avacado."  #SCORE.  Hopefully we see each other often, old man! 

And lol, this week we did indeed see each other often.  We ran into him two more times.  But he's a man of his word, and each time he gave me a free avacado.  Maybe Mezapa isn't that bad after all...

And I've already started freaking out about coming home in just a little over five months.  It's super weird because I feel like I've been a missionary my whole life and I'm just super confused and conflicted and scared to come home because what am I even going to do and who am I even going to be.  And like wow.  Emotions are stressful sometimes.  And then Hermana Vergara played me this song, and I just started crying because WOW THE MISSION IS JUST THE BEST THING EVER OKAY AND I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr5Kzy4FF1g

    

Be happy!  Be Mormon.

Love always,

Hermana Holdaway

"Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which theLord can comprehend." - Mosiah 4:9

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Week #48--525,600 Minutes

Hi.

I've officially been on my mission for a year.  Well as of today, I guess it's been a year and 4 days.  But it's casual.  I've just spent 365 days casually wearing a missionary nametag and a skirt (#amishlife) and casually living in Honduras even though I'm a gringa and casually speaking Spanish #TACOS.  It's just like super casual and normal and ordinary, but whatever.

And even though I graduated high school like twenty years ago (or I mean 3 years ago...), I'm still a theatre nerd and woke up singing "525,600 Minutes" at the top of my lungs because some things just don't change and this is one of those things.  

525,600 minutes.  525,000 moments so dear.  525,600 minutes.

How do you measure, measure a year?

In baptisms.

In bug bites.

In gun shots, in baleadas.

In miles walked.

In scriptures read.

In laughter, in strife.

In 525,600 minutes.  How do you measure a year in the life?

What about love?  How about love?  Measure in love.

Seasons of love.

#casual.

So Mezapa's cool I guess.  We're literally in a little town in the middle of nowhere.  But there's still a Chinese restaurant and a bakery that sells really good donuts so I think I'll be okay.  There aren't any laundromats like there were in Ceiba, so I'm back to washing all my clothes by hand.  My favorite thing ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  -__________-  I washed clothes this morning and now my hands are all hurt and blistered and peeling.  #gringaproblems. 

My companion's name is Hermana Vergara.  She's from Mexico and has been on her mission for 7 months.  She's super fun and likes to eat cake, so we get along just fine.  She's only been here in Mezapa for a month, so she doesn't know the area that well yet, so we've been doing lots of exploring and meeting lots of new people. 

On Thursday we met a woman named V.  We met her contacting!  And we had an amazing experience with her.  We knocked on her door (o sea, we stood and yelled "BUENAS" outside her house), she let us in, and we started talking.  Her family is Catholic, but she doesn't attend any church because she feels like organized religion is full of pride and corruption.  She told us that she was meeting with the Mormon missionaries a couple of years ago, but nothing ended up happening.  I told her that it wasn't a coincidence that we knocked on her door, that everything happens for a reason, and she said, "I know.  Before you guys got here, I was praying to God about a personal problem that I've been having.  I asked Him for guidance and answers, and then you came over.  I know that he sent me you two angels as an answer to my prayer."  We felt the Spirit so strongly in that moment. And when I invited her to pray that night to ask God if our message was true, she said, "I don't need to ask.  I know it's true.  I can feel it."  And then we challenged her to be baptized, and she accepted.

#SCORE #casual #thechurchistrue

It rained a lot this week.  Like a lot a lot.  Like 5 days of constant rain.  And the streets here are literally rivers when it rains.  I'm not even kidding.  It was raining so hard one night that we had to go home early.  We were about five or six blocks from our house, and the water was all brown and yucky and almost up to our knees.  So there we were, casually walking/swimming home.  I felt like Bear Grylls (SIDE NOTE: I actually really am Bear Grylls because I'm pretty sure I ate pig brain this week.  We went over to visit this family and they were all like, "HERMANAS EAT THE FOOD," all Napoleon-Dynamite-when-he's-feeding-Tina-style, and then they started scraping meat of the bone which I realized mid-chew was actually a skull.  In my past life, I probably would have thrown up, but Honduras changes you, so I took seconds instead*.  Take that Bear Grylls).  But anyway, there was a lot of rain and a lot of water in the streets, and I was about ready to call up Moses and have him come down and divide the Mezapa Sea so Hermana Vergara and I could cross on dry ground.  Ha.  Ha.  Ha. -_-  Bu anyway, I was going to take a picture, but then I changed into my pajamas and made hot chocolate and read the Book of Mormon instead (#superrighteous #spiritual #whitemormongirl), so I guess you'll just have to take my word for it.

So yup.  That's been my week.  Today I was going to send you guys pictures from the baptism that Hermana Tito and I had last week and from all of my goodbyes in Ceiba but this computer has a virus and so if I plug my camera in, it will die.

So mejor no.

Until next week, my fellow white people.  And fellow Asians.  Shout out to Tim Chan.  BRAIN TRUST 4EVER.

K, whatever.

Love,

Hermana Holdaway

*DISCLAIMER:  I actually didn't take seconds because even though I've lived in Honduras for like ten years, I'm still a white girl who prefers Spongebob mac and cheese or Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Nutella over pig brain.  Some things just don't change and this is one of those things.